


Lonely Soldier Girl

by Awseomness



Category: Robotech
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Compliant Music Choices, Colored Text, Colored text for singing voices, Does it count if they're singing in character?, F/F, Femslash used as an excuse to explore character and setting, Homestuck Style Sheet, In that someone is pressured into doing karaoke after saying no, Karaoke, Non-sexual dubcon, Peer Pressure, Song fic, The Shadow Chronicles, Which is condemnable, ah well, but an order of magnitude less bad than normal dubcon, for now, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awseomness/pseuds/Awseomness
Summary: Janice Em overhears Maia Sterling singing in the shower and railroads her into a karaoke night together. The night is lovely, actually, and the two women come away with a deeper understanding of each other as people.Songs that appear are:Look Up! (The Sky Is Falling)It Don't Get Any BetterTo Be In Love





	Lonely Soldier Girl

Maia Sterling stepped into her room. The layout was different than it had been on the Icarus, a little homier actually. It made sense, the Ark Angel was meant as a colony ship, not a military vessel. Still, as Commander of Air Group, she had been assigned a room very close to the hangar, in case of emergencies. Now, she was grateful that it meant only a short walk after combat.

What had been a routine patrol was accosted by a scouting party of Haydonite fighters. It was troubling for a number of reasons, among them that it indicated the Haydonites knew where they were going, and possibly that they would beat them there. Maia's family was onboard the SDF-3. She couldn't help but worry.

She stripped herself of her flight suit and made immediately for the shower.

They'd lost two veritechs. The pilots, thank God, had survived, but the loss of equipment was still a problem. Losing a veritech also meant losing sixteen protoculture cells, multiple tons of spare parts, and sixty-eight MMD missiles. Not to mention the additional protoculture cells and weaponry attached to the Cyclone inside.

Even with their stopover at the Mars Base, supplies were thin. If this became a war of attrition, humanity would lose.

Maia closed her eyes as the hot water cascaded over her body. She breathed deep, in and out, again, then again, calming herself. Grounding herself. She focused on the water on her skin, the steam in her lungs, the ache of her muscles as she craned her neck until she felt the crack, then again on the other side, tension releasing.

It was an odd thing, being in her postion. Privy to information kept private from the rest of the crew. She knew exactly how bad their prospects were, but she wasn't in any position to do anything about it. Anything but her job. Minimize casualties, minimize damage, eliminate threats.

She took a deep breath.

_Another winter day_

_Another grim reminder that what used to be_

Has gone

_Away_

She felt her voice vibrating in her throat, in her chest.

_It's really hard to say_

_How long we have to live with our insanity_

Singing was cathartic. A way to pour all of her feelings out of herself. The actual song didn't matter so much, though this was one of her favorites.

_We have to pay for all we use_

_We never think before we light the fuse!_

_Look up! Look up! Look up!_

_The sky is falling_

_Look up, there's something that you have to do_

_Before you try to go outside_

_To take in the view_

_Look up! Because the sky could fall on you_

\---

Janice Em prowled the corridors of the Ark Angel, learning its twists and turns, memorizing how each section of the ship looked and sounded. Total familiarity with the ship would be very useful in an emergency situation.

She was making her way to the hangar, listening to how the sound of the engines changed as she walked, when another sound reached her ears.

_Another restless night_

_The wind is howling through the empty streets outside_

_We have to hide_

Janice stopped. The sound was faint, and covered by running water, footsteps, and a nearby veritech being repaired, but it was clearly Maia's voice.

_We dare not go outside_

_We must not walk into the darkness of the night_

It was sad and soulful, even a little angry. Her voice expressed a deep frustration that resonated with something inside of Janice's core. It was beautiful.

_We have to pay for all we use_

_We never think before we light the fuse!_

Janice frowned. How had she never heard Maia sing before?

_Look up! Look up! Look up!_

_The sky is falling_

_Look up, there's something that you have to do_

_Before you try to go outside_

_To take in the view_

_Look up! Because the sky could fall on you_

\---

Maia stepped out of her room, then immediately stepped back in surprise. "Janice?"

The android woman had been waiting just outside of her door. Was something wrong? Did Dr. Nichols need her for something?

Janice stepped forward, smiling. "You have a beautiful singing voice, Commander Sterling."

Immediately, Maia blushed. "People can hear me?" On the Icarus, her personal shower had been almost sound-proof. She had assumed the same was true here, though now she regretted it.

"I doubt it." Janice mimed tucking hair behind her ear. "My audial sensors are much more sensitive than a humanoid ear is. I pick up many sounds that our crewmates couldn't possibly hear."

"Good." Maia sighed, relieved.

Janice frowned. "Oh, but you're so good." She brightened again and took Maia's hand. "You must do karaoke with me!"

"Oh, no. I- I've never done karaoke. I'd be far too embarassed." If it were anyone else, she'd have given a firm no and been done with it, but Janice had caught her completely off-guard.

"Embarassed?" Janice looked at her with wide, unblinking eyes. Janice never blinked, didn't need to. It was unsettling, and her eyes were inhuman, though undeniably beautiful.

"I have an image to maintain." Maia said, as much reminding herself as informing Janice. "My squadron - the _whole crew_ \- looks to me as a leader. I can't afford to lose face."

Laughter crept into Janice's expression, though not her voice. "I hardly think you would lose face from the crew seeing you excel at something else. And you _do_ excel." She shifted so that she was hugging Maia's arm. "One song is all I ask. If you decide you don't like it, or that it isn't cathartic for you, I'll never ask again."

"I don't know..."

Janice's smile widened just a bit. "I am prepared to beg."

Maia's eyebrows raised. If this wasn't begging, she wasn't prepared to learn what was.

"Okay, fine. One song, but that's it."

"Wonderful!" Janice released Maia's arm and kissed her cheek. "Meet me at Chez Octavia tonight at seven. And wear something casual."

Maia put a hand to her cheek. "Wait, tonight?"

But Janice was already continuing her circuit through the ship.

\---

Maia didn't own a lot of clothes that would be considered "casual," and much of what she had owned was lost with the Icarus. In her day-to-day on the ship, she typically wore her CVR flight suit or her standard uniform. However, she was able to find a black tank top that had survived, and a lavender jacket she had purchased on Mars. Below that, she still wore her uniform slacks and boots.

The Ark Angel was originally a colony ship, intended for taking civilians to the stars. As such, the interior promenade was a recreation of an old Earth city, complete with a park, a shopping district, and a holographic sky. It wasn't quite Macross City, or even the Civilian Deck of the SDF-3, but it served its purpose, keeping military and civillian personnel alike from going stir-crazy.

And, indeed, there were civillians aboard the Ark Angel, those evacuees of Space Station Liberty who chose not to disembark on Mars, or those from Mars who elected to come aboard. Maia had trouble fathoming their decision to do so; it seemed to her that theirs was a military mission, and that civilians were only putting themselves in danger by joining the ship. Still, many of them were family to the crew, or to those still on the SDF-3, so perhaps it made more sense than she knew.

Chez Octavia was a civilian bar in the shopping district of the promenade that offered alcohol, food, and music. Apparently it was a franchise that had grown up on Earth and Mars since the end of the Second Robotech War, and the company itself was owned by a pair of Tirolians. The building was small compared to its neighbors, a single story dominated by a single room with tables and booths, a bar at one end, and a stage much better lit than its surroundings, making a clear statement as to what patrons came for. Outside, the neon sign written in both English and Tirolian script had a second, smaller sign beneath, declaring that tonight was karaoke night.

Standing in the doorway, Maia scanned the room for Janice. Most of the people here tonight were civilians, a few enlisted personnel, and one middle-aged NCO on-stage belting an old blues song. Of those in uniform, most were engineering, one or two was infantry and none, mercifully, appeared to be pilots.

"You look good casual." A voice said beside her, and she turned just as Janice wrapped an arm around hers. "Not that I don't like a girl in uniform."

Janice's hair was clipped back into a loose bun with a red flower clip, and she wore a black, spaghetti strap dress that came down to her knees. Or, more accurately, she projected the appearance of doing so, though it was impossible to spot the difference.

"I'll be honest," Janice said as she led Maia to an empty booth, "A part of me was worried you wouldn't come."

"I'll be honest," Maia said as she sat down, "I almost didn't."

Maia liked the idea of karaoke, even doing karaoke herself, in theory. It was the vulnerability that came from performing, from putting yourself in the center of attention and opening yourself to the judgement of others, that balked her.

The NCO stepped off the stage into the open arms of his buddies, and a civillian replaced him as a more upbeat song began to play.

"Did you pick this place because..."

"Because none of your more immediate crewmates would be here?" Janice smiled. "It was a likely scenario. This way you wouldn't lose face even if you were to do a poor job. Which I have every confidence you won't."

"Thanks."

Janice motioned to the touch-screen at the table. "Go ahead and order whatever you want, my treat! I've already reserved our song, but we have some time to kill."

Maia looked the screen over for the strongest drink available, then though better of it and ordered the second strongest drink. "What song are we singing?"

"I wanted to be sure it was one you knew, so I went with 'It Don't Get Any Better'. That's acceptable, right?"

Maia nodded, "I do know that one." And it was another relief. "I'm just glad it isn't another Lynn Minmei song."

Janice looked surprised, maybe even a little hurt. "You don't like Minmei?"

A bartender came by with Maia's cocktail, and Maia thanked her.

"She's... competent." Maia said after she had left. "And I like some of her later work, but... Growing up, it was like she was the only musician. Every song on the radio, every song played in the stores, every song that parents sang to their kids, it was all Miss Macross herself. There's only so much Lynn Minmei a girl can take."

Maia was apologetic about it, she knew that Janice was a fan. She brought the cocktail to her lips and took a sip.

"I didn't realize people felt that way. It was twelve years into her career that I became her back-up singer."

Maia choked and fell into a coughing fit, thankfully covered up by applause as the singer onstage finished their song.

She caught her breath and croaked out, "You're _that_ Janice?!"

Janice smiled, unperturbed. "I am."

Once again, Maia was caught completely off-guard. She tried to center herself, and frame her next question as politely as possible. "How old are you?"

Janice leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Hard to say. I suppose it depends on how you define 'me'."

Maia's expression implored her for more.

"I was first named Janice Em twenty-two years ago. That's when I came online as a synthezoid in Dr. Lang's laboratory. My earliest memories, however, belong to Eve. My original programming was based on, in some places taken wholesale from, the Enhanced Video Emulation matrix of the SDF-1. However, because Eve was still online at the time, I think of her more as a sister than as myself."

Janice leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "You could argue, however, that 'I' am just over a year old. I sacrificed my original body to kill a mutated Thomas Riley Edwards. I survived by uploading my consciousness into a new body, constructed of both robotech and shadow technology. Since then, I've looked and acted differently than I once did. I don't know how much of that is because my body processes data differently, or how much is because the data transfer was imperfect. Either way, it would be a fair assessment to say that Janice Em died in that fight, and that I am a new entity entirely."

Maia stared for a moment, processing that. She reached an uncertain hand across the table and placed it on Janice's, who held it gratefully.

The singer onstage finished to another round of applause and Janice brightened. "Oh, that'll be us!"

"It will?"

Janice's grip on Maia's hand tightened just a bit as she pulled her from the table. "Are you nervous?"

"I wasn't."

"Good!"

There was a cheer as two attractive young women took the stage, and Maia already felt their eyes on her, even if it was hard to see them past the stage lights.

Janice leaned over and whispered into Maia's ear, "I'll start. Trust your instincts and if it helps, close your eyes and pretend it's just you and me."

Maia swallowed, and nodded.

_It took me such a long time to believe_

_That things are not the way they seem to be_

Maia took Janice's advice, closed her eyes, and tried to listen only to the music, and to Janice's voice beside her.

_It's hard to know what's really going on_

_And you don't know what you've got till it's gone_

Janice squeezed Maia's hand.

_There's more to this than can be seen_

_But what does it really mean?_

_You better learn to use it or you'll lose it!_

_It don't get any better_

_You better learn to use it or you'll lose it!_

_It don't get any better_

Janice twirled Maia to the music to the delight of the crowd. She whispered, "Next verse is yours."

Maia grabbed the mic stand to steady herself.

_A situation that could soon arise_

_Is out to cloud the vision in your eyes_

_How do you expect to ever see_

_If you can't see the forest for the trees?_

Janice joined her for the pre-chorus.

_There's more to this than can be seen_

_But what does it really mean?_

_You better learn to use it or you'll lose it!_

_It don't get any better_

_You better learn to use it or you'll lose it_

_It don't get any better_

_You better learn to use it or you'll lose it_

_It don't get any better_

Maia's heart was pounding, but she felt great! She saw the crowd, but she wasn't bothered by them, and she smiled a wide grin.

_I don't pretend to think I know_

_The answer to the question of_

_Why does there never seem to be enough?_

Her voice cracked slightly as she held the long note at the end of the bridge, but no one cared, and Janice immediately pulled her into another spin as the break-down started. Janice turned her attention to the crowd, getting them to clap along with the beat.

Then, Janice turned her eyes to Maia, fixing her in her gaze, and took her by the wrists, drawing her into a simple, twisting dance. It was exhilerating. There were spins, there was a dip, and as the music faded out, Maia found herself clinging to Janice, sweating and panting, while Janice seemed completely unfatigued.

Janice beamed at her, proudly. "You did wonderfully!" She kissed Maia's cheek and ushered her offstage, whispering, "I'll be right with you. I actually reserved the next song, too."

Maia raised an eyebrow, but nodded and returned to her seat. She took another swig of her cocktail and looked back at Janice onstage.

This really was fun, and she was glad she did it. There was a good chance, she thought, that she'd do it again. Maybe with her squadron, the next time she was invited, maybe with just Janice again.

A familiar tune, with familiar words, started up.

_To be in love_

_Must be the sweetest feeling that a girl can feel_

I was a Lynn Minmei song, one of her first. Maia had heard it a thousand times.

_To be in love..._

_To live a dream_

_With somebody you care about like no one else_

And yet, from Janice, it sounded almost new.

_A special love... A dearest love_

_Who needs to share their life with you alone_

_Who'll hold you close and feel things_

_That only love brings_

_To know that they are all your own_

Maia watched her onstage, and wondered if this is how it felt to be a pilot on the SDF-1, tired and anxious from the war, and hearing Minmei herself sing this song for the first time.

_To be my love_

_My love must be much more than any normal man_

Or, perhaps, this was how the Zentraedi - how her mother - felt when this song was the first song, the first example of culture, that they had ever known. This rumbling in her soul, like something she never knew, but had been with her all along, was awakening for the first time.

_To be my love..._

_To share my dreams_

_My hero, she must take me where no other can_

And as she watched, Maia realised that Janice's eyes were locked with her own. Janice wasn't performing this song for the crowd, but instead was singing directly to her. She felt color rise in her cheeks, and she downed the rest of her cocktail.

_Where we will find a brand new world_

_A world of things we've never seen before_

_Where silver suns have golden moons_

_Each year has thirteen Junes_

_That's what must be for me..._

_To be in love..._


End file.
